Introduction

Hello. My name is Ian. (Well, that's the pseudonym I chose, anyway.) I'm 25 years young, and I'm gay.

It's 2009, and I'm in my second year of Ph.D. studies. I'm at a large university in the U.S. state of Georgia. I still hang out with mostly undergraduates, though, which is actually another reason for me to not always speak my mind.

It's 2009, and I've known I'm gay for about a year and a half. Two years ago I was certain I was straight. So I don't know what it's like to go through high school, or even undergraduate college, being gay. For me this is all very new.

It's 2009, and I'm out to pretty much all of my friends that I see regularly. I'm out to my brother, but not my parents yet. So far I haven't come out to a single person who was bothered by it.

It's 2009, and I've never been on a date or had sex. I have a story or two to tell, but they don't end up with me getting any.

I'm starting this blog for myself. Sometimes I really want to share my inner thoughts, whether they're intimate thoughts about who I think is good-looking, or philosophic thoughts on various gay topics. But I don't get to do that much in real life, because I try to keep up the image of being a gay person who is otherwise normal. I drink beer, I watch sports, I fix cars. I can either keep up that image, or I can talk about gay things; it's impossible to do both at the same time.

So, I have to compromise. I wish I had known more ordinary gay people, instead of the flaming kind who talk with a lisp and do the hand flip, so I've decided that I want people to see me as an ordinary guy, have that be my image. But, since I still want to voice my thoughts, that's what this blog will be for. Maybe it will help some people to hear what I think. And maybe some people will start reading this and will be able to help me when I need some advice. But if nothing else, I'll be able to say what's on my mind, and because I'm doing this with no real association to my real-life self, I can say anything I want.

What am I not going to talk about? What U.S. state passed some law relating to some gay issue. Who won American Idol. What I think of some movie that's come out. If you want to know about these thinks, or what I think of them, you should look elsewhere.

What am I going to talk about? My past, and how I realized I'm gay, and what that was like. My present, and the image I'm trying to make for myself. My thoughts on what it's like being gay, and what I think of how other gay guys act. My love life, and who I think is good looking, and who I'm interested in, and who I'm dating or having sex with.

I know... looking at that list, it reads like a bunch of thought-heavy topics followed by a non sequitur about my romantic and sexual life. All I can say is, that's important too! I struggled to realize I'm gay, and no doubt I'll struggle to learn how to date people and have non-awkward sex, too. So I'm going to talk about it.

I hope other people will read what I have to say. I hope they'll respond when appropriate. I hope they'll tell me when they like what I write about, or when they don't. But if none of that happens, at least I'll get to say all the things I want to say.